Book Review of Educated by Tara WestoverTara Westover's Educated is brutal, compelling and tragic. It is not an easy read and her experiences have clearly left more than physical scars behind. It is clear that Westover is still coming to terms with the abuse she has been subjected to and and is still, at least to some extent, escaping it and its effect. I suppose she always will be. Westover is being compared to the likes of Jeanette Winterson and Lorna Sage, Without wishing to sound too flippant, or undermine these excellent books and the experiences of their authors, I would argue that in comparison, therir lives are are presented as being a 'stroll in the park on a Sunday afternoon.' Harrowing beyond belief and painful to read, Tara Westover's Educated will surely become a classic memoir.  Educated by Tara Westover is sure to become a modern classic. Educated is an account of Tara Westover's life as part of a Mormon funadmentalist family living in Idaho. Her father becomes increasingly radical, her brother Shawn grows to be increasingly abusive, and her mother is either unable or chooses not to protect her. It is essential to her survival, both emotional and quite possibly actual, that she escapes the confinements of her childhood and moves away. She achieves this through the path education. Westover is keen to point out, in the author's note that Educated is not criticizing any religion. She is scrupulous in the book in the use of footnotes to show when she has paraphrased; she always acknowledges when her memory may not be completely accurate The need to present absolute truth demonstrates how difficult it has been to leave behind the world she grew up in where she has constantly been expected and forced to accept twisted and manipulated 'truths' of her reality. She is cut, beaten and abused, yet the abuser's behaviour occurs, or so she is told, in order for her to enact the 'power of atonement'. There is a chasm between her educated Cambridge and Harvard life, and her childhood spent preparing for the 'End of Days'. She leaves behind the mountain which she so beautifully describes in the opening page of the book, but finds the transition to belonging in the world of academia almost an insurmountable challenge. Westwood grew up without any schooling often in fear. and squalor. The contradictions of her life were enormous. She needed to constantly dress modestly yet was accused of being a whore; Westwood needed to accept the doctrines of a woman's place being in the home, whilst working in hard and dangerous conditions in the scrapyard and she needed to accept unquestionably her bi-polar's father's version of truth as fact when it so clearly wasn't. Book Discussion Questions for EducatedWhy has Westover called the book Educated? It is not until Tara reaches 'adulthood' that she realises that Shawn has abused her sister Audrey prior to his abuse of her. Audrey ultimately chooses not to escape the life she has had and instead condones what has happened. Explore how Audrey and Tara are both similar and different. The university professors in the book are represented as 'saintly' and one of them even descirbes Tara's situation metaphorically as being like 'Pygmalion'. Explore why it either can or cannot be seen in this manner. After Tara's father suffers horrific burns his wife and children nurse him back to something aproaching health. Tara's father uses his recovery as further evidence that hospitals are the work of the devil. What other ways does he use religion to 'prove' his own beliefs are correct? What does this reveal about him Towards the end of the book the Westover family becomes relatively rich due to the success of the home remedies and tinctures that Tara's mother makes? Explore the various ironies in this turn of events? How is the mountain used as a metaphor within the book? Whilst not for a minute disputing the events that occured in this memoir, all narratives are inevitably biased (as Westover acutally points out).. Is it possible to put a more 'positive spin' on any of the events in this book? Could Tara have stay in Idaho and had a happy life? Why or why not? In the memoir Tara's family are afraid of the 'Feds' and are quite isolated. Should the state have been more involved in what was happening on Bucks Peak? Why do you think Tara's mother chooses to not believe that Shawn abused her? Some books really resonate with the reader and stay with them for weeks, months and years. Do you think this memoir might be one such book? Why or why not? If this was a work of fiction do you think it would be less or more convincing a read? Why or why not? Book Discussion Questions for Educated (If you haven't read the book!)The accounts of Shawn's fall from the pallet and Luke's burn are seen differently by different characters in the book. (Readers, quickly explain to the non-readers what happened.) Have you had incidents in your own lives where your memory of the truth is completely different to that held by other family members? When Tara studied at Cambridge she comments how photographs taken at the time show her looking very similar to other students. This perhaps illustrates a desperate need to fit in and seem 'normal'? To what extent do we all need to 'fit in' to our chosen worlds? Look around the room - how does the need to fit in show itself in this bookclub environment? As a memoir Educated will surely become a modern classic. What other memoirs have you enjoyed reading and why? Towards the end of the memoir Tara makes tentative steps towards developing a relationship with her mother's family. Would you like to share any personal stories about family dynamics, and perhaps getting to know estranged family members later in life? Tara states that her father would probably like to reinstate polygamy as part of Mormonism. Disuss polygamy a a concept. When Tara Westover went to University she had never heard of the holocaust. Have you ever found yourself feeling very ignorant about something? Discuss how this made you feel. Tara Westover's father felt that you can teach yourself something better than anyone else can teach you it. Do you agree? Tara Westover used her journals as a source for her writing. Do you keep a journal? Why or why not? What are the benefits of diary writing?  Tara Westover is always keen to acknowledge that her truth is just one view of events. Summing up of Tara Westover's EducatedTara Westover states in the clip above that she doesn't know what is next for her. She seems sympathetic to Mormonism as a religion, yet doesn't practise it herself. In writing the book she has shown enormous courage, empathy and compassion for that which she has rejected and takes pain to never mock or undermine the people living around her. She is still a young woman finding her place in the world and. having finished the book. I am left intrigued to know what she will do and write next. I highly recommend this memoir as a leveller and inspirational, thought provoking text. I thin it even surpasses Girl, Woman, Other as a new favourite!
 Those two look like they are having a 'grown up' conversation! Are you Emotionally Mature?Yesterday a good friend of mine recommended Marian Keyes new book ‘Grown Ups’ to me. I don’t really know much about Marian Keyes or her books, but I was immediately thrilled that I’d listened to the Fortunately Podcast on which Marian Keyes had been the guest, actually discussing her new book. The reason for my delight was that I could casually mention this to my friend and thus look, or so I thought, semi-intelligent and knowledgeable! Perhaps this was just a little bit emotionally immature and not the behaviour of a grown up! I was though very keen to join the Marian Keyes party and read the book, so I made one of my, (not infrequent), visits to the Waterstones’ online store and ordered the book. I was childishly delighted to happen upon on a signed first edition of ‘Grown Ups’ and couldn’t wait to tell my friend. Such showing off truly wasn’t at all grown up at all!  That looks like a more fun way to be grown up! Things a Grown Up Would Not Do!You would not be so childish as to have a strong desire to write naughty and cheeky words on an 82-year-old father’s plaster cast. Neither would you risk getting into trouble at his temporary respite care home by repeatedly messing about with the bed remote, sneaking in Baileys, beer and a Nintendo Wii game. You would not be so irresponsible to have frequent crazy 2.00 a.m. online shopping sprees. You would not be so shallow as to wait until fifty-one to become addicted to reality TV shows such as Dancing on Ice. Rather you would have far loftier pursuits. You would not be so greedy and unhealthy as to eat Chinese Spare ribs for four days in a row because you were too lazy to cook for yourself. You would not be so selfish as to have your own daughter tuck you up in bed with a cup of tea and a biscuit, leaving her to lock up the house, switch off the lights and empty the dishwasher. You would not be so lazy as to fake clean the house by spraying Mr Sheen around. You would not be so vacuous as to bewail the fact that you didn’t fit in a manicure and pedicure when your trip to Bangkok was shortened. You would not be so ageist and closed minded that you felt the need to mock and self-parody your own increasing love of tea and scones in garden centre coffee shops! You would not watch Cold Feet and be envious of the characters setting off travelling in their camper van and living their best lives! Are we Ever Fully Fledged Grown Ups?The truth is I’ve never really felt like I’ve been a fully fledged adult! In fact Betsy said to me the other day that it must have been a nightmare for me to desist from swearing whilst she and Annie were little! I explained that whilst they were still establishing their own moral codes and boundaries and were still susceptible to parental influence I had faked all manner of sensible behaviour. Thank goodness that part of my life is complete and I don’t need to fake it anymore! I used to think that in order to be a proper ‘grown up’ you needed to have life sussed out! If that really is the case then it can be argued that I’ve missed my window of ‘grown-up-ness’ altogether and I am now regressing backwards. To be emotionally mature it certainly helps to be wise and selfless, accepting and balanced, open-minded and non-judgemental, but it isn’t always easy! I wonder if we ever leave our ‘school playground’ versions of ourselves fully behind? If we are to be fully engaged in caring relationships with family and friends there will be inevitable jealousies and miscommunications and immature responses to difficult to situations. I think that is ok. I believe sensible behaviour is over-rated and not an indication of being grown up at all. It is fun (even in your fifties) to be childish! Kindness is the Secret of Being Grown UpThere’s been a lot in the media recently, with the coming out of Philip Schofield and the tragic death of Caroline Flack, about being kind. The importance of kindness is something we constantly teach in schools and whilst I know I’m always wittering on about the importance of reading, but I do truly believe that reading fiction helps us develop the skills of empathy and kindness. If we can master the art of ‘being kind’ and make it the basis from which we try to act both towards ourselves and others, then whatever age we are, we are, in fact, well on our ways to being ‘grown up’. Being Kind is a good value to live by.. Do you agree?
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