Our eldest daughter, Annie Grace is back with us in Bangkok again. Yippee! The four of us together makes for a happy household – well for five minutes at least! All her three exams and zero lectures are finished for Term Three. Well worth the 3300 pounds tuition for this term (NOT!) Don’t get me started on the lack of value for money in UK university educations!
 
Refusing airport photos after a rough night on the plane, stuck between two inconsiderate travellers, who were as economical with their manners as they were in their flight booking. Annie explained how when she is on the aisle, (which we usually try to get) she gets up to go the loo four or five times a night, whether she wants to or not, enabling her neighbouring travellers the opportunity to stand up and make a call themselves. (I brought her up to be considerate!) Not so her neighbours! Splayed arms and immobile bodies didn’t lend themselves for Annie having a good flight. She looks exhausted in a ‘still young and gorgeous’ kind of way! I should have given her the advice on flying I shared in an earlier blog post, Flying High on Awkwardness about handling fellow travellers.
 
Anyway, it is great to have her home though she has gone straight off to the pool at our local Thana city country club for a swim with her sister Betsy. I’m staying home minding our dog Wizzy. Our live-in housekeeper is away and as the dog is an illegal resident in our condo I can’t let her bark. (Expat problems and no mistake!) Whilst I’m happy that she and Betsy are catching up, and she is fending off lack of sleep and the inevitable jet-lag, I am a little regretful that she isn’t here as I had hoped to spend this first afternoon together, explaining tasks I need her to help me with.  In no particular order, they are:

• Updating our ‘printed’ photo albums. We label and keep just two or three pics from birthdays, Christmas celebrations and the like. However judging by the empty non-updated albums it seems Christmas hasn’t happened and we haven’t done anything of note since the kids were about twelve years old. I exaggerate, but you get the idea.


• Exploring SEO Google ranking and helping me progress up the laboriously steep and rickety blogging ladder. I wish someone (anyone!) could explain how all this works.
• Advising me what to wear for Betsy’s Graduation. Do I go kitted out in a sensible and very lovely fifty-something-frock or do I aim for a more edgy look to go with my ‘salt and pepper’ hair look?

• Committing to do Betsy’s and my hair and make up for aforementioned graduation.

• Sorting out of all her old clothes and stuff in her Bangkok bedroom with the idea of recycling and redistributing most of it-I do hate clutter!

 
That’s in addition, to talking her ears off and generally seeking lots of life advice. It’s struck me as interesting how often I do now seek out both my girls’ opinions and views and really take on board what they have to say. It’s weird though, as I still do exactly the same with my mum too. I’m wondering if this makes me an ‘inbetweener’  I’ve decided this is a good name for fifty somethings who defer to their youngers and also their elders as their betters. (Perhaps I’ve invented it as I know I can’t make it is an ‘influencer!
 
Anyway, so that the relationship isn’t too unbalanced, in return I will:

• Buy Annie a graduation outfit. Interesting how she didn’t have time to shop for one in the UK where she has a visa card and bank account that has money in it!

• Have her ‘catch me up’ on British politics, especially the European elections, which to be honest I don’t really understand. Annie will explain things to me patiently. #Justsaying!

• Treat her to lunch and silently admire what a marvellous young woman she is.

• Lend her (which probably means give her) my new cabin sized suitcase to take on her ‘UCL swim tour’ trip to Malta next week. Though on a separate note, have you noticed how airlines are getting much stricter about the size of cabin baggage passengers are allowed to have these days? I think it is because more people (like me) have stopped taking check-in luggage to speed up the ‘getting home’ part of a journey.

 
So we’ve got a nice few days in store before summer starts properly for us next week. On Wednesday, Annie will travel to London Heathrow and I will go to Humberside airport to check in with mum and dad. We get to sit together as far as Schipol so elblow room won't be a problem! Betsy goes on her after-grad trip to Koh Samui on Tuesday (I’m still preparing my lecture on dos and don’ts for it!), which will just leave poor old Saint Mick of Thana at home earning the pennies! Hmm… another part of my life where things are unbalanced. I feel a blog post coming on about how I need to return to being financially independent one of these days.
 
For now though, I’ll not worry about that and instead I’ll focus on savouring the smell of freshly baked bread that is coming from the kitchen right now. I mention that just to prove that, housekeeper or not, my kitchen is abuzz with home made delicious produce! Nigella eat your heart out. Did I use a breadmaker? What do you think?

I have just spent a pleasant hour reading the Kate Greenaway medal shortlisted titles for this year. It made me sad and nostalgic that I won't get to share them with the kids at school. We have always enjoyed reading them, voting for our favourite title and discussing the issues they explored. The kids made connections, sometimes even to the previous year's titles and remembered the stories way after I'd forgetten them. Sometimes we added to this a little research activity, author study quiz, or creative writing and drawing extension activity, though for me, it was always sharing the story that was fun. I'm not a big believer in forcing written responses to reading (it kind of kills the magic).  Anyway, I didn't always realise it, but those were fun days. 

There are, however, certain advantages to reading the books alone, by myself, from the comfort of a sofa, not least being able to enjoy a cup of tea and a hob-nob as I read. Despite being a little regretful to not be having the follow on discussion and excitement that sharing books with little people brings, I still enjoyed them and as stories are 'want to do' they got me thinking. It sort of felt like a ton of rusty doors in my old grey matter had been opened, with each room having a different set of thoughts and issues to ponder on. Consequently I've now got absolutely no idea what to blog about. There are just so many options! Will it be one of these things?:

• A chat about what being transgender means in 2019. Reading Julian is a Mermaid by Jessica Love has made me reflect on the issue again. I've reviewed books on this issue before on Goodreads. I'm so pleased this book is on the short list; it sits well next to George by Alex Gino for Primary kids and Lily and Dunkin by Donna Gephart for Secondary kids and will hopefully reignite lots of chat. (It makes me feel like writing a whole curriculum unit across the age ranges looking at audience, purpose, writing style, theme and the whole shabang. Don't worry, I'm not such a nerd, and the urge will fade.)
• The shocking statistics about transgender sucides. The Jessica Love book has clearly made an impact on me this morning. 
• A compilation of the zillion articles exploring the need to keep reading aloud to kids even after they can read themselves. Probably not, as I think I might have done that before back when this blog was very bookish. Oh yep, here's my blog post from then. I sound very earnest -haha! 

Could it be:

• Looking at rhyme and rhythm in picture books. that's probably a bit too specialised, but it is a fascinating topic.

Or perhaps I might write an:

• Evaluation of David Roberts Suffragette - The Battle for Equality book. It has also made it onto the Kate Greenaway list, and has good reviews, but I'm not completely sure I'm sold on it. It is a good book and clearly laid out with nice headings, but other than the contemporary nature of the topic is it so exceptional and strong that it is worthy of being shortlisted? Also, what a shame there wasn't a female or co-female author.

Perhaps I'll chat about other school-ish things eg how:

• Exam boards and publishers will be promoting equal rights for the rest of this year and probably next, but then what? Will women's rights get forgotten again? 
• The value of a true 'picture' book where it is the pictures not the words that do the talking. I would love to see Secondary kids explore books like this and see what they come up with. There are some amazing titles out there which I could blog on.
• The importance of reading shadowing schemes in schools, like the Carnegie scheme. I could reflect on whether the need for this type of scheme is greatest where schools probably can't afford to buy the books.
• School administrators have a massive role in supporting an open minded approach to  developing school library collections. 

Perhaps I'll write a more confessional blog post and acknowledge that:

• I don't actually know much about transgender issues and state that that's ok. I'm open minded and accepting so I figure that's a good starting point. I could get onto  Trump  and the implementation of the trans-military ban, but I'm not sure that will be good for my blood pressure!

I might get a bit critical and look at:

• The value (and lack of) of commonsensemedia.org as a parent group for looking at the appropriateness of texts. It has a place, but it strikes me that it is often conservative parents that write on it, thus artificially upping the reading age of the books that are reviewed

Perhaps I'll e  self-critical and give my self a kick up the bum blogging how:

• I need to stop being so lazy and glass half empty and get my new picture book out there on the market. I'll probably end up asking what's the point though,  when it seems a fruitless task. If only I was a celebrity .. or an influencer!

Or maybe I won't blog about any of these things.

​As I say, I'm not always a fan of using reading to do follow up written work, so perhaps today I'll take it easy and just enjoy having read the Kate Greenaway stories for no reason other than the enjoyment of reading them. I'll keep the personal, social and political follow-on reflections in my head. That is, until tomorrow at least!

I’ve been learning what an ‘influencer’ is.  According to the Cambridge English Dictionary an ‘influencer’ is someone who has the power to affect purchase decisions because of their relationship with an audience in a particular niche. I guess most of you knew that already, (I’m just playing catch up).
 
So modern influencers may well be bloggers or vloggers and other mini-celebs. Love Island stars come to mind, such as Dani Dyer, and Jack Fincham, or that sweet boy who was on Strictly, Joe Sugg and his sister Zoe. (I’ve been under her marketing influence for sure, having spent a fortune on Zoella cosmetics and beauty products for my girls.)
 
So influencers seem to be someone whom the ‘influenced’ by admire, relate to and quite possibly aspire to be like.  I think I’m right in saying that modern ‘influencers’ have a large online following but potential short-term careers. My daughter Betsy has been filling me in about the case of you-tuber James Charles who was accused of using his money, fame and influencer online status to manipulate straight men sexually. I can’t begin to keep up with the ins and outs of the case but apparently a rival you-tuber Tati Westbrook pulled him up on it and his influencer status rapidly diminshed. The plot thickened with James defending his innocence and regaining his followers. Cosmopolitan dedicated a whole article to sharing the true story, so this is big business! It shows how being an influencer goes beyond ‘selling’ merchandise and is a powerful position to hold. I’m vaguely concerned how woefully ill informed I am about modern influencers. I’ve no idea who many of the biggest instagram social influencers are for example, yet I am happy for my kids to have exposure to their message day in day out.  It feels like I’ve turned my back for a second and being ‘influencer’ aware has become a large part of parenting that I’ve completely missed. Where influencer status comes from is perhaps something worth discussing within families. It could even be explored in school tutorial programmes. The history of influencers old and new. To what extent is Mussolini similar to Nigel Farage?
 
I’ve been asking myself, as a new blogger, am I trying to be an influencer? If I am these are my influencer messages of the day.
 
Listen to middle-aged women’s podcasts such as Older and Wider. They are very funny.

• Do listen to the message of millenials. They are smart.
• Live your lives by school mission statements and listen to educators as they are smart, especially my educator, Saint Mick of Thana!
• Own a good pair of Marks and Spencers jeans.
• Under no cirucmstances listen to the likes of Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and Donald Trump. 
• When heeding influencers, look to past actions as well as future promises.
• Start a blog it’s loads of fun.

 
Realistically  I’ve a long way to go before entering the world of being an ‘influencer’. Also, I'm not sure I would be comfortable trying to persuade anyone to my way of thinking. I think I'm just more of a 'sharer' and right now my curiosity is focused on exploring how I am influenced. Mind you, when I see what real influencers earn and how you really can make money from blogging, maybe I'll have to keep trying! 

I’m feeling a little bit guilty about my earlier vent. Life is picking up. The car has been taken to the repair shop. I chose not to include details in my last blog of how I had rammed it up the back-end of a pick-up truck as part of yesterday’s independent jaunt. A few other life-niggles are getting sorted out, and most importantly, my gorgeous little Betsy has finished her IB exams. Woo hoo!

I had no idea I was even stressed about Betsy’s exams, but the sense of relief I feel now is immense! She has worked her socks off, done her absolute best, hasn’t stropped (much!) and I feel massively proud. We’ve had a nice lunch, I treated her to a new top (which she may or may not wear for after-grad) and she is now watching Mamma-Mia 2. Life doesn’t get much better than that! She has big plans to make no plans, so who am I to argue?

I have big plans to try and learn from some of the mistakes I made when Annie finished her IB two years ago. This is what not to do:

• On the afternoon of the final exam do not suggest any of the following as possible activities for your child:
• Throwing out and organizing all their IB revision notes into piles to keep, recycle or return to school.
• Tidying their room or sorting out their wardrobe.
• Joining Goodreads, (or completing a reading challenge) now they have time to read.
• Completing an AppleMac clean-up programme and deleting old files.
• Fixing all the ICT glitches of your own, that you’ve been waiting for the exams to finish before asking for help with.

Should you mistakenly do any of the above and get negative responses definitely do not persuade your child to hang out with their friends so that you can get them out of the house in order to complete the follwing yourself:

• Throwing out your child’s revision notes
• Tidying your child’s room.
• Signing them up to Goodreads.
• Stealing their laptop and running an Apple-Mac clean-up programme.

Trust me this is not well-received. Equally do not, upon their return sigh repeatedly, in their presence, as you try to fix those long-standing ICT glitches you’ve been putting up with whilst they have been legitimately too busy to help you with!

OK, I didn't do all of those things (just some!) and at least I’ve learned the error of my ways. Betsy and I have had a great post-exam afternoon of fun. Just, though, in case you are the parent of a Year 12 IB student, a little further advice for next year: do not and I repeat do not, under any circumstances, suggest that together you complete a detailed calculation of worst case and best case likely IB final attainment point score. Also, definitely DO NOT take out of your handbag a shiny new notebook, bought especially for purpose. Not sure why, but apparently it isn’t, it seems, the best choice of pastime.
​
IB may be over, and I no longer have kids at school, but it would seem I still have a few things to learn! Maybe it's time to add in a 'Repentant Parent' chapter to our IB book!

Anyone who knows me will be aware that I’ve spent the last couple of years really trying to have a positive growth mindset. I’ve aimed to be more zen-like than a Buddhist monk and I have a ‘gratitude’ list that spans from here (Bangkok) to Land's End. However, today I need to vent. So in no particular order and with no further ado these are things that annoy me:

• Busy Bangkok traffic which made me late (again) when I went to the chiropractors yesterday.
• Sat Navs that don’t predict journey time well and take you on weird routes making you late.
• Water Wasters. For this reason I’m afraid the Thai style of washing up, which involves the constant running of water, really irritates me, though I do accept it is more hygienic than the UK style of filling a bowl with soapy water. Sorry Thai friends.
• Drip drying dishes. Lazy. Though as above it is, I suspect, a more hygienic approach to crockery maintenance than using a wet tea-towel.
• Rejection. Why has no one knocked on my door to publish my latest story? I must share it soon! And why hasn’t anyone come head-hunting me for the perfect free-lance job? I’ve got so much to offer but nobody knows it!!
• Inability to ask for advice. Sexist comment alert – I think men are worse than women for this.
• Over 50s Life Cover Ads that pop up all over the place.
• People who understand Google SEO Rankings.
• Facebook users who posit a perfect lifestyle.
• Hoarding. If you don’t need it recycle it. (#JustsayingBetsy!)
• Avoiders. Even when you’re having a bad day you can say hello. Yes, I know I’ve done a whole blog post on being an avoider myself.
• Toxicity and blamers.
• Politicians – anyone linked to Brexit, but basically the whole lot of them.
• Social and Health Care provision for the elderly, which is rubbish.
• Shoes that look amazing, cost a fortune but hurt like mad.
• Exams. One test doesn’t fit all. Exams ironically undermine much that underpins educational values, yet we have to buy into them. Lecture over!
• Social Media Influencers. Being an influencer is not a new thing, (Hitler was an influencer and look at him!) it’s just that it's now online and makes you rich.
• People, on Come Dine with Me, who hold their fork in their right hands. Come on at least have good manners when on telly.
• Procrastinators. Well procrastinating is ok, but not if you then moan about what hasn’t been done.
• Thai restuarants who serve the rice after all the other dishes have been eaten.
• The fact that carbs and chocolate allegedly make you fat.
• Articles about being a 'carer' that say 'as a carer, be sure to take care of yourself first.' How?!
• Moaners, Whingers and Groaners (not me obvs!)

I bet you are expecting a counter list of positivity and sunshine aren’t you. Well I'm afraid it isn't forthcoming today. OK ... I’ll try…
Things I like:
Irony. Get it?!