Book Review of Alan Davies' Just Ignore Him Ignoring Alan was his father's way of punishing him. ,Alan Davies' autobiography Just Ignore Him, focuses largely on his childhood and the trauma surrounding it. Davies' mother, of whom Davies speaks fondly, died of leukaemia when he was six years old. Davies and his brother and sister were then brought up by their father. Davies recounts in Just Ignore Him how he was made to feel that everything that ever went wrong within the family was his fault. He describes how his brother and sister were encouraged to ignore him when he was deemed as being irritating. Davies is clearly bitter and upset about many of his childhood experiences. The reader learns that his poor relationship with his father is far more than simple disagreements or personality clashes. It is revealed that Davies was sexually abused by his father up until the age of 13. It is the abuse that Davies receives that dominates the whole of the book. In his forties Davies step-mother gives him photographs that his father had hidden of teenage boys who look like him and he consequently makes the decision to report his father to the police as an abuser. Due to Davies' father's age and diminished mental capacity he hasn't, to date, been taken to trial. Davies Just Ignore Him is not what a reader might expect from a showbiz autobiography. This is not least because it is so well written. At times there is an unexpected softness and tenderness to the text, especially when Davies is talking about his mother and describing what it is like when growing up in the 70s. Davies completed some of the text as part of a creative writing course focusing on memoir writing. His intelligence, wit and honesty serves as a super backbone to the text making it a book that is well worth reading.  Alan Davies didn't want to talk about the abuse he suffered when he was promoting his book. Book Discussion Questions on Alan Davies' Just Ignore HimWhat aspects of this biography, Just Ignore Him surprised you? Being ignored by his siblings and father is presented as a frequent act of cruelty in the book. Discuss. Davies comments in the book how he couldn't possibly imagine hurting his own children like he has been hurt himself. Other than this his own children are seldom mentioned in Just Ignore Him. Do you think the focus of Just Ignore Him is too narrow? Discuss the ways in which the abuse Davies suffered affected him emotionally. How, if at all, has your view and opinion of Alan Davies changed now you have read Just Ignore Him. During Alan Davies teenage years he frequently stole things for himself and for his friends. He even got caught. Why did Alan choose to steal? What does he reveal about himself in his recounting of these episodes? When Alan Davies was caught stealing and reprimanded by the police his father was determined that his brother should be told. What was his father's motivation for this? Alan Davies presents his relationshp with his mother as being perfect. Discuss. What can be gleaned about the relationship between Alan Davies' mother and father and consequent relationship between Davies' stepmother and father? How much sympathy do you have for the case against Alan Davies' father never going to court? Do you respect Alan Davies for writing Just Ignore Him? Why or why not? Bookclub Questions on Just Ignore Him (if you haven't read the book!)Chat about any other showbiz biographies that you've read. Which titles do you recommend and why? Whilst child abuse is more openly discussed than it used to be, it is seldom male victims who tell their story. Why do you think this is the case? How do you think a biography that told the story of a comedian's abuse would have been received ten or fifteen years ago compared to now? Alan Davies has been on the panel for QI for many years now. Have you watched it? Chat about the programme together. Alan Davies's hardly mentions his showbiz career in his biography, but instead focuses almost entirely on his childhood trauma. Do you think it is possible to ever really escape your childhood experiences, whatever they might be? Personal Response to Just Ignore HimThroughout Just Ignore Him the hurt and anger that Davies clearly feels towards his father is never far from the surface. The writing has a rawness and urgency that pulls the reader in. Davies wears his heart on his sleeve and has shared his story with honesty and openness. It seems that in interviews promoting his book he has been unwilling to discuss the sexual abuse that he writes about. This strikes me as interesting, though not really surprising.
Just Ignore Him is a brave book as Alan Davies will, at least for some time, be now known as the comedian whose father abused him. It will, I hope help other people in similar situations speak out and confront abuse that they have suffered. Book Review of Jenny Eclair's Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause is a wonderful book to listen to on Audible. Jenny Eclair's Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause is a fun and informative read for anyone who has experienced, is experiencing, or will experience the menopause. No... let me amend that to also include anyone who knows someone who fits the above criteria. Jenny Elcair's A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause is full of common sense, and offers practical advice about managing aspects of what our grandmothers' called 'the change'. Using a logical A to Z approach it covers all aspects of what the menopause entails and ensures that its menopausal readers know that they are not alone in what they are experiencing. Whilst I'm not a fan of the term (I don't know why) the book is a text of 'sisterhood' at its best. As would be expected of Eclair this menopausal guide is full of wit and humour, It doesn't hold back on the expletives and adult humour. It may make some readers' hair curl, though having said that none of it is offensive, unless you happen to be Tim Henman. (It seems Eclair finds him a little dull!) Amongst the strengths of the book is the reassuring tone and the solid advice offered. For example, Eclair, without being patronizing, tactfully warns readers to be mindful of divorcing their husbands, as part of a mid-life crisis, as they may live to regret it. (The women not the men. The men would obviously regret it!) A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause is a book that I listened to rather than read. It is wonderful entertainment when partaking of a walk or cycle, perhaps as a means of cooling down from a hot sweat or ensuring that those middle-aged endorphines remain active.  Would you take advice from this woman? I would! Book Discussion Questions on Jenny Eclair's Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the MenopauseWhat is the most single useful piece of advice in Jenny Eclair's Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause? What part of Jenny Eclair's A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause did you find the most amusing? Was there any part of Jenny Eclair's A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause that you thought was simply wrong? What was it? Jenny Eclair is a fan of acupuncture, but is less convinced by other 'alternative' approaches to enhancing health and well-being. Discuss. Would you give this book to a male partner or relative? Why or why not? Jenny Ecliar is a white middle class hetrosexual woman. She acknowledges in the book that she had some concerns whether this might be problematic to her readers. Do you think her narrative can be considered narrrow and unrepresentative of a diverse readership? Why or why not? Jenny Eclair makes a quip about most 60 year old men resembling Toby Jugs. Is this true or fair, or is it just a joke? Does it matter if it is true? Jenny Eclair speaks very frankly about the eating disorder that she had during her twenties. Recap and discuss what Eclair states about her illness and how she got better. Do you think treatment of the illness would be similar now to how it was thirty plus years ago? Bookclub Questions on Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause (if you haven't read the book!)Who in your own life most needs educating about the menopause? Explain why. Will you buy them this book? If you are a younger reader to what extent did you understand your own mother's menopause? If you are experiencing the menopause right now what is the worst thing about it? Have a chat about HRT and its pros and cons. If you listen to the Older and Wider podcast you will have heard Jenny Eclair speak quite personally on ambition, wealth, family and politics. Do you think knowing a little about a writer enhances a reading of their book? Do you think people have more knowledge about the menopause and are more willing to chat about it now than they were five or ten years ago? Do you feel comfortable freely discussing the menopause? What does the term 'male menopause' mean to you? Personal Response to Older and Wider: A Survivor's Guide to the MenopauseJenny Eclair's A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause was a particularly easy listen to me, as I'm already a fan of the podcast Older and Wider, which she records with Judith Holder. Most of what Eclair said really resonated with me. That's perhaps because I'm a 51 year old woman with two grown up children and a husband I have a tendency to snap at for no particular reason! The part about empty nesting actually reminded me very much of my own blog posts on the topic of empty nesting.
If I'm honest I think I was expecting Jenny Eclair's A Survivor's Guide to the Menopause to be a little shocking, whereas it was actually very sensible and grounded. It is also very amusing. Even if learning about the menopause isn't of paramount importance to you right now this is a good listen or read. It's full of sound life advice, much of which is applicable to all ages. Book Review of Avni Doshi's Burnt Sugar Avni Doshi won a a Charles Pick writing Fellowship at the University of East Anglia in 2014. Set in Pune in the west-central Maharashtra state in India, Burnt Sugar is primarily an exploration of a dysfunctional mother/daughter relationship. Burnt Sugar is told from the viewpoint of Anantara. who we learn had an unconventional and neglected childhood. In her youth Anantara's mother, Tara, had left her husband to join an ashram. Whilst Tara took Anantara with her she largely ignored her as she embarked upon a wild and unsatisfactory love affair with the ashram leader, After later being rejected and leaving the ashram, there followed a stint as a beggar, and a further unconventional and unsatisfactory love affair with the waiter/writer Reza. The reader joins the story when Tara is in middle-age but suffering from early onset dementia. Anantara is married to Dilip, (an immigrant reluctant to return home to America), The story is based on an exploration of Anantara's emotions and own unravelling sense of self. The ties of Tara and Anantara are, it seems impossible to break, as the lines between love and hate merge. The unravelling sense of self seems to be reflected through the first person narrative. Conventionality is challenged and rejected. Dysfunctionality is presented as normality; The narrator uses an understated matter-of fact tone to reveal complex and shocking emotions. The reader is drawn into exploring the unravelling not only of Tara's mind, but also that of Anantara. An acerbic wit is used to ponder big life questions which encourage an engaged reader to confront truth in all its ugliness. Burnt Sugar is raw and challenging. It reveals the cruelty of life in a deceptively readable manner.  Avni Doshi is on the longlist for the 2020 Booker Prize. She is against some tough competition though. Book Discussion Questions on Avni Doshi's Burnt Sugar
Bookclub Questions on Avni Doshi's Burnt Sugar (if you haven't read the book!)
Personal Response to Avni Doshi's Burnt SugarThis is a great debut novel from Dubai based author Avni Doshi. After reading the first few pages I thought it was going to be a topical and timely exploration of caring for a parent with dementia. It had pleased me that such an important topic had been chosen for a Booker Prize longlisted text. How wrong I'd been in this oversimplification. Burnt Sugar is a story of love and hate, betrayal, forgiveness and revenge. It takes the emotions of a dysfunctional familial relationship and takes the exploration of mother/daughter relationships to extremities.
Book Review of Colson Whitehead's The Nickel Boys I really enjoyed The Underground Railroad, but I think enjoyed The Nickel Boys even more. My husband enjoys fiction with well-developed characters and a defined 'plot' line. The largely linear narrative of The Nickel Boys, at least for the first two sections of the story with a definite progression of events and wonderful characterisation of the protagonist, Elwood Corey, meant that I didn't hesitate to recommend The Nickel Boys to him. This isn't something I'd do lightly. My husband reads more non-fiction than fiction so is very choosy about the fiction that he invests in. The Nickel Boys is worth the investment. The Nickel Boys traces the story of young Elwood through his childhood into his teens, growing up in Talahassee. Although abandoned by his parents, he is loved by his grandmother, and, inspired by the speeches of Martin Luther King, is determined to improve his own life circumstances. As Elwood leaves home for a college education he, through no fault of his own, finds himself wrongfully sent to a reform school. Once there Elwood suffers untold and unimaginable horrors, but is determined to not only escape the miseries he and the other boys endure daily, but to continue to hold close the ideals and beliefs of Martin Luther King. During a spell in solitary confinement he struggles over King's equation "Be assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer..." It is King's beliefs and values that underpin the novel. On the book jacket of The Nickel Boys Alex Preston, of the Observer states that The Nickel Boys "opens up thrilling new vistas for the form of the novel itself." I began the review by suggesting that the book follows a traditional narrative structure. When reading the text Preston's comment initially surprised me. Although the book is great, it wasn't I felt ground breaking, stylistically. It was only when I had read to the very end that I realised what an absolute tour de force it is both in structure and style. The final chapters are stunning demonstrating tremendous story writing skill as the heart wrenching conclusion to events is revealed. As in The Underground Railroad Whitehead shows it is clearly not his purpose to spare the reader's feelings..  I think Colson Whitehead is the only author to win the Pulitzer Prizer twice. Both winning books - The Underground Railroad and The Nickel Boys - are fabulous. Book Discussion Questions on Colson Whitehead's The Nickel BoysDid you anticipate the twist at the end of the book? The injustices Elwood's grandmother has faced throughout her life means that, whilst she acts very bravely, she actually lives in constant fear. How does this manifest itself in the way that she raises Elwood? Revisit the different sections of the story. Discuss how and when the narrative voice changes. Appearance vs reality is a theme that dominates the story. Discuss when and how the theme is explored. Why did Turner/Elwood refuse to be photographed promoting his business in front of his new offices on 125th Street? Turner was reulctant to share Elwood's written account of what really happened in the school, but ultimately did so. Why? What messages of hope are there in the story The Nickel Boys? Discuss the signficance of the final line of the The Nickel Boys "He was hungry and they served all day, and that was enough." In chapter twelve of The Nickel Boys the narrator states that there are four ways out of Nickel. Of the four tehcniques which would you choose? The Nickel Boys illustrates the horrendous levels of racial abuse that openly existed in America during the 1950s and onwards. Moving forward, how helpful was the text for you in understanding the current "Black Lives Matter' movement? In The Nickel Boys the weak prey upon the helpless. The level of barbarity and pre-meditated cruelty of characters such as Spencer and Hardee is wicked. Are some people simply born evil or are the reasons behind their cruelty more complex? Is it possible to, if not pardon, at least explain the reasons for their barbaric behaviour? Did you find the ending of the book satisfactory? Why or why not? Who is the bravest charcter in The Nickel Boys? Discuss. We learn that Elwood had been abandoned by his mother and father who left him and went to California when he was six. Elwood's father had fought loyally for America but became embittered once he returned to civilian life where he lived in a town where black men in uniform were frequently lynched. Elwood's mother was described by his grandmother (her own mother) as weak. How do you view Elwood's parents? What lasting impression has reading The Nickel Boys had on you? Bookclub Questions on Colson Whitehead's The Nickel Boys (if you haven't read the book!)Whilst The Nickel Boys is a work of fiction it is inspired by the real events that occurred in The Dozier School for Boys. Discuss whether you find fiction a useful means of understanding real life events. Do you have examples of other fiction books which have helped you understand real life injustices? Discuss how you think you would respond if faced with utter adversity. Discuss how you have been affected by the Black Lives Matter movement. How has fiction, for example The Underground Railroad, or Kiley Reid's Such a Fun Age helped you understand racism from both a historical and current context? Elwood only owns one record which plays the sermons of Martin Luther King given at Zion Hill. What speeches have you heard that have inspired your life? Or, what music have you repeatedly played that has lasting significance for you? Personal Response to The Nickel BoysWhen I read The Nickel Boys I hadn't realised that it had won the Pulitzer Prize this year. I was suprised, especially as it is was only 2017 that Colson Whitehead took the same prize for The Underground Railroad. I was pleased though. I enjoyed it and thought it a thoroughly worthy winner.
I particularly enjoyed that The Nickel Boys was historical fiction, but set relatively recently. It raised that classic question about how we continue to be blind to current injustices. It is difficult to comprehend how the Dozier School for Boys in Marianna, Florida on which the fictional Nickel was loosely based existed right up until 2011. A sobering thought. Having now read The Underground Railroad and The Nickel Boys I will certainly read more of Whitehead's books. I will also be investigating the Pulitzer further; it is a prize I know little about and I'm curious what criteria the shortlisted titles must meet to be considered for it. Book Review of Kiley Reid's Such A Fun Age Such a Fun Age seems on the surface a quick easy read, but there is a ton of important stuff inside it to unpack. As a rule I wouldn’t comment on a book cover, but the sleeve of Such a Fun Age really pulled me in. Jojo Moyes’ comment “I couldn’t put this down” promoted its accessibility. In addition, the positive comments from both the Times “A new literary star” and the Guardian “A firecracker debut” added to its appeal. The story Such a Fun Age lived up to its promise. I wasn’t disappointed and hope this reaches the Booker prize shortlist. In Such a Fun Age the issues of what it means to be racist, who is and isn’t racist, why and how this might manifest itself is tied up in an exploration of messy real life. As such it is a fascinating read. Context is significant in Such a Fun Age and at a time when the ‘Black Lives Matters’ campaign is making readers like myself question our own self-awareness regarding white privilege, I found myself being quite self-conscious as I read along. Normally I would simply immerse myself in a text and respond to it naturally and with confidence in my views regarding character, theme and plot. When reading Such a Fun Age, however, I was questioning my own responses as someone experiencing ‘white privilege’ and trying to be reflective of this as I read from the perspectives of the key characters. Interestingly, Kiley Reid actually refers to raising awareness about racism in our current society within the story itself. Regarding the plot: in brief, the main protagonist Emira is a black twenty something graduate, living in Philadelphia who is moderately disenchanted with her life. Working as a babysitter she feels left behind, earns little, but knows she is great at her job. She has a firm affection for Briar, the toddler for whom she cares, Briar is the daughter of seemingly successful and woke Peter and Alix. They are not necessarily quite all they seem and one evening they call Emira and ask her to take Briar to the mall following a disturbance in their own home. This leads to Emira being accused of kidnapping Briar and thus unleashes an unexpected chain of events during which the reader can reflect upon and challenge aspects of all the key players’ motivations and beliefs. Things come to a head when we learn that Emira’s current white boyfriend Kelley had been Alix’s first love. The relationship had ended badly with Alix being presented as racist during her time in school. Part of the reason for responding to Such a Fun Age with some element of self-doubt is that it doesn't present characters that are archetypally villains or heroes, so is constantly demonstrating that we can all make errors of judgement whilst not being fundamentally ‘bad people’. Each character has flaws and all have some redeemable characteristics. Race is the central theme explored in the text and yet, at the same time, it almost isn’t. It is as if ‘colour’ is an external theme to which the characters all react. In Renni Eddo-Lodge's Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People about Race she talks about how it is only white privileged people who make the claim of everyone being at the same starting point in life. Kiley Reid’s Such a Fun Age proves the validity of this claim. The text is continuously presenting the actions of the different characters within a justified framework which seems legitimate to themselves. It is for the reader to either accept or refute the legitimacy of that claim. The central example of this is when Alix loses her virginity to Kelley, but almost immediately afterwards calls the police when his black friends arrive at her house. This can seem legitimate to her, but of course her narration of the events is just one narrative and not necessarily a reliable one.  I love this photo of author Kiley Reid looking quizzical. Book Discussion Questions on Such a Fun Agethebookerprizes.com/fiction/2020To what extent is it possible to read Such a Fun Age without being self reflective about how your own race, wealth or class have influenced your own life? What are the main flaws in Alix’s character? What are your views on why Kelly and Emira don’t reconcile once he is proven to be basically ‘right’ about Alix? It is when Emira realises that she is the only one of her friendship group who is still on their parents’ health insurance policy that she reflects on her lack of financial and career success. She knows that she is being ‘left behind’ yet doesn’t seem to be able to quite do anything about her prospects. What are the factors stopping her becoming richer and more successful? Which of the characters in the book do you most identify with and why? What are the reasons for Alix’s ‘friendship crush’ on Emira? In the story Such a Fun Age we see the significance of ‘first love’ and how it can affect a person’s whole future. We also see how unreliable personal narrations of first love can be. How much, if any sympathy do you have for Alex as a teenager? Can she be forgiven for calling the police? In the story, Kiley Reid comments that Kelly gravitated towards black cool kids at school and that he always has black girlfriends. Reid has Emira express how grown up she feels having an older white boyfriend who doesn’t buy his furniture from Ikea. Discuss what this reveals about Emir, Kelley and society at large. Both Kelly and Alix wanted to share the video of the racist incident involving Emira and Briar in the grocery store even though Emira doesn’t want to. What are their motivations for wanting to put the video on social media? Both Alix and Emira rely a lot on their female friends for companionship and validation of their life choices and decisions. Do you think their friends let them down at any point in this story? Is it possible to argue that Alix truly believed that she was genuinely helping Emira by sharing the video clip? Peter is probably the least ‘fleshed out’ character in this story. Discuss whether any significance should be attached to this. Discuss the importance of the final line of Such a Fun Age “Emira would carry the dread that if Briar ever struggled to find herself, she’d probably just find someone to do it for her.” Kelly and Alix both assume that they know what is best for Emira, regarding how she should respond to the racist attack on her in the shopping centre. Discuss. The exploration of racism and prejudice are dominant themes in Such A Fun Age. What other issues are also significant? How do they manifest themselves? Discuss what you understand by the term ‘white privilege’. Review how it is central in the story Such a Fun Age. Can Alix’s growing awareness of her own ‘white privilege’ be used as any kind of excuse for her errors of judgement? Alix accuses Kelly of being racist. Is he? Discuss. Would you like to see this book win the 2020 Booker Prize? Why or why not? Bookclub Questions on Kiley Reid's Such a Fun Age (If you haven't read the book!)The initial incident in the shopping centre where Emira was accused of kidnapping Briar was the result of a suspicious white shopper who jumped to outrageous conclusions based on various prejudices and assumptions surrounding not only race, but also class, wealth and appearance. Do you have incidents of friends being similarly wrongly judged simply because they are not white and/or other assumptions? Alternatively are you prepared to admit instances of when you have jumped to conclusions based on prejudices and assumptions that you may have? How aware are you of what ‘white privilege’ is and what it means? When writing these questions I felt very self-conscious, as a white middle-aged woman, about whether they are appropriate or whether I am revealing any unconscious prejudice that I might have. I would hope I am not racist, yet not having experienced racism myself makes me cautious about commenting about it. How comfortable are you discussing issues of race? Have you read Why I’m No Longer Talking About Race? Did you find it a valuable read? Why or why not? How important is an individual’s nationality or cultural background when interpreting text? Further Comment on Kiley Reid's Such a Fun AgeWhilst the issues explored in Such a Fun Age can never simply stop mattering and Emira’s life journey doesn’t suddenly stop, the story does have a definite end. Loose ends are, by and large, tied up which is quite pleasing for the reader. On one level, Such a Fun Age is an easy read. The writing style is enjoyable and has a light touch that pulls the reader in. On a different level though the book is a challenge and raises as many questions as it answers. The complexity of this really appealed to me.
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