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Best Book Club Questions and Reviews

Expat Local or Local Expat?  Same/Same but Different!

29/6/2019

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Living Abroad or Living at Home

old man in landrover
Mick took Dad out for a drive to the Humber Bridge in his new Landrover - Lazarus! Back in the day when dad was crane driving he helped build it, in fact legend has it, he built it singlehandedly!
 I was driving through the village today, on the way to Scunthorpe to get Betsy a new bank account set up for university, when she asked the question, “Mum if you hadn’t gone to university and chosen to live abroad do you think you would have always lived in Broughton or somewhere close by? Would you have lived at home?" My answer was “I doubt it” to which Betsy asked “Why not? Hmmm… good question. When I stop to think it doesn’t really make sense to not have stayed local. It seems that I’m a bit Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde! I love to Live Abroad, I love to be at home. It is same same but different!

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The N.H.S. Noxious, Harmful and Substandard ... or Nifty, Healing and Successful?

17/6/2019

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The NHS in the UK

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My dad's had a bit of  time of it this last year with his health, so we've been vey grateful to have the NHS here in the UK to draw upon. I'm a huge advocate for nursing staff particulary and feel they are incredibly underpaid and undervalued by our government. We have had some amazing care and attention given to us so because of this I've been loathe to criticize the NHS.. thus far.... We've also had some pretty rubbish experiences though and every now and then it is very hard not to have a sense of humour crisis about some of the things that have happened to us. However, rather than just write a long (and it would be long) list of 'issues', instead I'll sum up in a couple of paragraphs or what I'd do if I ran the NHS!

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Join the June Challenge

8/6/2019

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Pleasing People

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I’ve set myself a June challenge, it’s nothing to do with diets or exercise or quantities of books devoured. … read on and see if you’d care to join me.
 
I was talking to some friends the other day and we unearthed a very similar pattern of behaviour amongst us. It came as a surprise that we have set of similar core traits in how we conduct ourselves, as my perception of our characters is that we are all quite different. Consequently, I wouldn’t have expected it. To a greater or lesser extent we all had the following in common:


  • Not liking to upset the apple cart.
  • Often being overly sensitive to criticism.
  • Always being quick to say sorry if we realise that we are in the wrong and even sometimes when we’re not.

We all fight this instinct and do make strong decisions. We stick to our guns and lead effectively in both our professional and personal lives,  but it comes at some personal cost.
 
I feel like I have ‘superpowers’ in these traits  and can take them to extremes. There are downsides to being a pleaser. If I know I’ve upset someone and I’m in the wrong (admittedly seldom-kidding!)  I can really ‘overdo’ making amends and live the regret for ages. Even when I’m sure that I am right I still find any kind of conflict upsetting. Over, the years, I’ve fretted over how I can choose to not follow someone’s advice or seem ungrateful for it without giving offence to them. In addtion, I’ve spent way too much of my professional life circumventing conflict and wording tactful emails to reach a desired goal. I guess that could be seen as a positive, but it would be so much easier to just be direct!


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Tears, Tantrums or Stiff Upper Lip

7/6/2019

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Why do we Cry?

A sad girl crying - drawingWhy do we cry? Is it good for us?
Last night I had the most horrible dream. The type of dream that isn’t at all subtle and brings all your worries to the surface. It actually woke me up crying, which is really weird as I’m not much of a crier! I can’t say that I’m not prone to the odd tantrum and door slamming episode when I’m not getting my own way, but most of the time, I and the rest of my family have a more ‘British stiff upper lip, let’s get on with things the best we can’ approach to life.
 
Why we cry

I think when I do resort to tears it is more likely to be through frustration than anything else. They, whoever they are, say women at work must be professional and never cry, however it isn’t always possible to rein in emotions. I remember a couple of years ago feeling so frustrated that a very poorly colleague and friend of mine wasn’t getting a fair deal at work. Ironically it was only when angry tears leaked out that things started to happen to improve her situation. It seems tears can be powerful. Whilst I am opposed to pretty much everything Theresa May stands for, I still felt sorry for her as she struggled to contain her emotions as she stood outside Number 10 the other day. Tears also seem to be a trigger for sympathy and empathy.


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Friendship - It's Never Black and White!

4/6/2019

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Good Friendships

silhouette of person's headTo which good friendship do I refer?
I met a dear friend for lunch the other day. This particular friend has made something of a sport of ‘winding me up’. At least that’s what he thinks he is doing. Not so, I just like to humour him by pretending to be cross. (Well most of the time anyway!)

I do wonder how many of his ‘wind up’ comments are said solely to annoy me! If unintentional, the poor man probably spends half his life, when in my company, stepping on egg shells! He did confide to Saint Mick the other day that he is a bit unsure what he is allowed to say in front or to me for fear of being politically incorrect! No doubt he used a phrase like “politically correct nonsense!”


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