Humberside Airport tops Heathrow – almost!

The Best Airport

I am just recovering from the jet-lag of having recently found myself back on a plane, (I do seem to spend quite a lot of my time saying goodbye) This time I was flying direct to Bangkok on British Airways from the expansive and imposing Terminal 5 at  Heathrow, rather than via Schiphol, with KLM from dinky little Humberside airport. It got me thinking about which is the best airport?

The Advantages of a Local Airport

The advantages of travelling from a local airport such as Humberside are many. For example:

• Short travelling time from home to the airport; this is particularly significant at the end of a journey. There have been occasions in the past when travelling from Heathrow that  I have talked incessantly or even worse, sung loudly, to keep self-designated driver Saint Mick of Thana alert and awake during the three-hour drive up north. Any counter claims of barely being out of Europcar’s car park before falling asleep are strongly refuted!
• Friendly airport staff with heart-warming local accents and dialect and the ability to be in several places at once. At Humberside it is the same staff at the check in desk, the boarding gate and I suspect they even fly the little city hopper plane.
• Easy routines.  We know exactly the type of see-through Jiffy bag preferred for liquids and which type of belts and boots can and cannot  go through the people-scanning machine.
• Local knowledge of alternative travel options if and when taxis don’t show up. Shout out to Cable Taxis for saving the day on my prior trip when the taxi I booked didn’t show up – shame on you Juj’s!.
• Speedy transit through the checking in or checking out procedure. This is an airport with only a gentle hum of steady travellers, consisting largely of oil riggers or those on hen and stag parties to Amsterdam.
• Entertainment provided by aforementioned other travellers.
• The pleasures of watching the little man clean the clock in Schiphol airport during a stop over before the second leg of the journey.
• Anticipating and enjoying a cooked breakfast at the only, but much revered, restaurant at the airport.

The Advantages of an International Airport

Equally though a large airport also has its positives. For instance:

• People watching in large, bustling, slow moving security queues.
• The inadvertent auditioning for ‘One man and his dog’ as a sheep whilst being herded about in long winding taped rows by nameless scary staff who don’t make eye contact (though the non-eye contact part does suit me.)
• Being called madam in a long-suffering tone.  Am I supposed to somehow intrinsically know that the Northern Line joins up with the Piccadilly Line?
• The unexpected opportunity to learn how to scan a barcode phone ticket at the self-service check through a repeated try and fail approach, with no intervention from staff.
• Being afforded exercise opportunities, such as walking to the furthest gate in the airport when both transit trains at Terminal 5 are broken.
• Engaging in mountaineering opportunities such as climbing countless steps, with heavy luggage, at multiple train stations in order to travel to reach the airport.
• Playing party games such as musical chairs while finding somewhere to wait for the flight.
• Using up loose change by spending almost twice as much to buy a coffee at Heathrow compared to Humberside.
• Standing for an hour on a  long underground tube journey to stretch the limbs. Or being offered a seat on a long underground tube journey to remind you of lost youth.
• Flying on a very old Boeing 777/200 with great legroom, but where the TV screen is so small it is like going back in time to having a portable black and white telly next to my bed!

Heathrow Airport Wins

Swings and roundabouts eh! The reality is that, for me, the small airport beats a larger one every time, although the advantage of non-stop does lure me back to Heathrow from time to time, along with the chance to catch up with eldest student daughter in London. This trip Annie and I had a lovely catch up together without me being too annoying (I think!) and even managed to go watch #Matilda in the West End.  Being afforded the opportunity to be spend time is something that I am very grateful for.  For this reason, Heathrow airport, always wins. So in the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator  Heathrow, “I’ll be back!” ​​