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Best Book Club Questions and Reviews

Nurturing Friendships

10/8/2019

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Why we Should Nurture Friendships

Cartoon of hand about nurturing friendships.
It is important to nurture friendships.
Lately, for one reason or another there have been a few triggers that have got me thinking about friendship. They are all pretty random:
 
  • Watching a TV show on which the panellists were talking about the difficulty of ending a toxic friendship, even likening it to a divorce.
  • Reading a Marian Kayes novel called ‘The Break’ where the main character lost a friendship when she refused to join her friend in ‘men bashing’.
  • Observing positively the friends who have supported my parents during some recent difficult times.​
I have realised that there are lots of reasons why it is important, after making friends to nurture friendships. This also applies if friends happen to be colleagues! 
Marian Keyes The Break book cover
Friendship is a theme often explored in novels.
For me, nothing beats a chat with a good friend you can really trust and when I am not in Bangkok it is something I miss a lot. I really enjoyed celebrating my 50th birthday with my friends. Being an expat, having worked in a school, I really understand how ‘third culture’ kids need to use their phones to connect with friends who have relocated and aren’t physically present in each others’ lives. Connections are all important; thank goodness for all the electronic ways that exist for keeping in touch.
 
Lots of people say that a real friend is someone you may not see for years and years with whom you can just pick up where you left off.  I guess this can be true, but it does seem a shame to not be in touch with friends for extensive periods of time. I guess making and nuruturing friendships is not always a black and white issue. I’d probably say that this definition of a friend applies more to, what I’d call, a ‘mate’ whose company is comfortable to be in. 
Middle aged women outside restaurant
Celebrating my friend Rach's birthday with Jackie, Irene and Aya.
I know how busy life can be for everyone, so since I’ve been living between two countries, I’ve been really touched by friends who have kept in touch. It is heart-warming to be sufficiently in a chum’s thoughts for them to send a quick text or email and has reminded me of the importance of nurturing friendships. I think sometimes I can be prone to take good friendships for granted. 
Friendship cartoon
The quote about friendships says it all!

Ways to Nurture Friendships

Simple Ways to show a Friend you Care
 
Send a text or email to a friend you haven’t seen for a while to say hello.
Send a small, unexpected gift through Amazon.
Leave a fun voicemail message.
Invite them for coffee; have a laugh.
Text a joke you know they’d appreciate.
Write them a nice positive and affirming card telling them something nice about themselves. This is a great way to nurture a friendship.
Give a friend a ring and be a good listener. Don’t just talk about yourself (I’m guilty as charged!)
Make a friend a favourite dessert and pop it round to them at home.
Invite a friend for a treat that they like, such as a massage or swim.
Offer to babysit/dogsit (as applicable).

Thanks to Friends

​Friendship isn't only about being cared for, but also remembering to do the caring, listening and supporting. So with that in mind, to my friends, without wishing to be too gushing, (British stiff upper lip and all that!) I just want to let you know that you’re the best! Thank you for nurturing our friendships.
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