FAST, FURIOUS and FEMINIST AT 50

My Porsche Driving Experience

My dad trying out the porsche

I’ve decided that part of embracing change entails embracing my mid-life crisis, and thus I find myself co-owner of a rather fabulously loud and attractive Porsche Boxster S (the co-owner says the ‘S’ is important!) I am pretty happy to join the exlusive club of Porsche Drivers and am excited to experience the Porsche Driving experience in full. I'm not actually sure if my porsche is one of the fast cars of the world, but it is a fabulous car driving experience.

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Reasons for Buying A Porsche Boxter (S)

We’ve ended up with this car for various reasons:

• I couldn’t easily reach the pedals of my husband’s Lotus Elise and to be honest, even though Saint Mick of Thana is a saint, I could tell he really thought he should be sole driver of it. I think the Lotus was one of the fast cars in the world and as such was a step too far for me. 
• The Land Rover Defender 90 that Mick would have ideally liked to buy is bigger than our drive or garage. (No long leafy blocked paved drives for us!) and the car would have looked a bit silly standing in it. Also, we do not go to welly wearing areas; do not own a horse; have no intention of owning a horse and therefore, to my mind, do not need a Land Rover, (I’m missing the point says the co-owner of the Boxster S).
• The Land Rover we used to drive when we lived in Tanzania definitely spent more time off, than on, the road and during the few times it did run smoothly, seemed to have a  tendency to get very warm under the passenger seat. I was never entirely comfortable with this added buttock warming feature. (The co-owner of the Boxster S did point out that this unintended feature was actually part of the appeal of the Range Rover we owned in Tanzania, not the magnificent Land Rover we had prior to that ‘upgrade’, but I remain unconvinced of the truth of that claim).
• The buttock warming feature in the Porsche has a switch and the level of heat emitted to the aforementioned area is controllable and thus desired. It would be wonderful warm if we ever took advantage of this porsche driving experience!
• I didn’t want a mini in the UK as lots of cool fifty something females already drive them. I would, however, like one very much in Bangkok (if you are reading co-owner!)
• We both agreed that we would like a ‘cool’ car, and though our criteria of what is ‘cool’ may differ slightly, particularly in terms of how fast a car should go, we agreed that a Porsche hit the spot.

Things Porsche Drivers Might Not Know

It was a great choice! There is little doubt in my mind, that whenever I go out in the Porsche I make an impression. I am enjoying the porsche driving experience of being a super cool, fifty something girl-racer around town. So, to other would-be Porsche drivers, if you heed the following advice you won’t go far wrong:

• Prepare to be looked at, especially if you drive slowly with the roof down, or forget to use the winkers. Other road users seem to expect an undesirable level of speed on country roads. Their gestures when driving at a steady 28 miles an hour suggest a certain impatience that is unwelcome and unbecoming. Do not let those ‘road-ragers’ fluster you.

• In cases of stalling a Porsche, it seems you have to actually take the key right out to get things moving again. Be aware that this may leave you stationary in undesirable spots.  These include:
  • Railway crossings. Do not panic if you find yourself having stalled on a train track. Calmly and efficiently remove key, remember (preferably quite quickly) to press the clutch to restart the engine and move forward away from on-coming train lights promptly.
  • Parking spaces. In these situations other vehicles may not realize that you have not fully removed your own vehicle from the parking space and you may thus find yourself in imminent danger of being run into. In these cases again do not scream or swear, but gently use your hooter to warn the approaching vehicle of your presence. Be proud that you have aided other drivers in avoiding an accident and ignore any unbecoming gesticulations from them.
  • Traffic lights. In this situation it is essential that when you have restarted the engine, you don’t then go through the lights at red in order to reduce the queue of traffic building behind you, as this can lead to other undesirable outcomes.

Advice for Porsche Drivers

Accept that driving a Porsche will lead to a certain level of noise pollution. This is known to some as 'straight-six music' and is revered by some Porsche drivers, but if it is not to your taste then turning up the stereo loudly, ideally when listening to a favourite programme, such as Women’s Hour or The Archers solves this. It also seems to amuse other road users. I guess this is all part of the porsche driving experience!

To avoid embarrassment and queue formation learn how to open the petrol tank before arriving at the station. Note that in the UK, unlike Bangkok, protocol demands that you do not sit and wait for an attendant to fill your car with petrol, clean your windscreens and give you a bottle of water. There is an archaic and quaint expectation of getting out of the car, independently using the pump, before paying at a counter inside a building before driving off. Do not be perturbed that this means other cars in line for petrol have to wait an unnecessarily long time for their turn at the pump

Be sure to check that elderly relatives can extricate themselves from tight-fitting Porsche seats before inviting them for a ‘joy-ride’.
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Obviously I’m joking, well….at least in part!
 
I do find it interesting though that I have been a little bit hesitant about driving the Porsche and also just a bit self-conscious about glances from other road users. The Porsche Driving Experience hasn't been always positive. Having said that, it has been easier than some of my driving adventures in Bangkok!  Perhaps it’s just that I’m an introvert, or maybe singing loudly to Abba would attract stares whatever car I was driving! I wonder, though, why I don’t just boldly say that I enjoy driving a fast car and I feel I have to be almost apologetic about becoming a, what do they call it, ‘petrol head’? It seems that, not for the first time I’m not being true to my feminist self! So, embracing the change, in all it’s forms, I boldly state that hence forth I will be loud and proud in my revving and my racing!
 
However, if anyone out there does have a nice Land Rover Defender 90 for sale, give me a shout. I may be able to find a good home for one! ​​